Monday, April 03, 2006

Swept away

I had a plan for a post today.

I had planned to write about the reviews I've been asked to write for GigIreland but things change.

Life changes. Or sometimes it stops.

A friend of mine came home around Christmas. I hadn't really spoken to him since primary school. You know the type of friend. You were close, but different schools get in the way. Then different cities. Then different countries.

He went on a fishing trip near Ballinskellings Bay in Kerry with a few friends.

He was just walking on the pier.

In my mind he is still the kid I knew.

I'm in a strange mix of remorse and guilt. I didn't know him well enough to feel full grief. He slipped down the scale from friend to acquaintance over the years. Now I'll never get to know him. And while I couldn't have done anything, I feel guilty for not knowing him well enough to grieve.

A person reduced down to a two line news report. Makes me angry.
I think I'm going through the stages in the wrong order.

I now know there'll be a funeral.
I don't know if I'll make it.
I know I'll never know him.



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