Monday, August 28, 2006

No, no and thrice no

The idea for Sunday was simple.
Meet the Tempest girls, join the queue catch up on our lives. Go in and sing in "you're a star" and go home.

Okay, there was a little bit more involved than that but still...

Got up, shaved and discovered I was going to be running late, so I texted that much. The replies showed that I wasn't the only one.
The plan for for 10am. I actually got there at 10.30am... dammed parking. At that time the queue outside the Clarion was fairly short. It stayed consistently short for the entire day!

Opposite the end of the queue is a coffee shop on the dock. I settled down and recharged a bit.

About 10.45 contestant C-001 (I won't mention your full unless you want me to) came out. A little girl looking fairly upset.
Of the three judges, Thomas Black liked her, but not strongly. Brendan O'Connor did the nasty judge act on her. Her mother was, well, livid. An interesting rumour was that the Sligo heat was so oversubscribed that certain people who failed to get in there hand been selected to get in to the show this year. It will be interesting to see how many Ulster and Connaght singers get in during this Munster heat.

At 11.15 contestant C-021 came out. An attractive brunette with a guitar and a very tired boyfriend waiting at the shop the entire time. She was the first contestant to be accepted. Happy, but she had to return at 4pm. Her boyfriend (complaining about arriving at 7am, this may have been driving from 7am, I don't think she was that desperate) declined any offer involving sleep, but they moved off sometime after the group entered.

Shortly after Marie arrived. Marie is a French lady who thinks she can't really sing, but after all this isn't a chance at fame.
Actually it isn't. However the conversation between what's been happening since the play and the "released" contestants continued. We weren't going to win this, but it's a bit of fun. Too early but a bit of fun.

My reasons for entering the year was mainly to do with the "get back on the horse that threw you" factor. Last year young master O'Connor laughed at me the entire way through my (admittedly poor choice) song. I needed to get back in there in order to get over it.

Finally Jackie (a German) and her husband "Taz" (Australian or Tasmanian depending on your preference) arrived. So at 11.45 the mini united nations delegation joined the queue. The order was Marie, a trainee garda from Dublin (are guards getting younger and more attractive or is it just me? No idea how she'll do) me, "Taz" and then Jackie since she was going to borrow his guitar.

We got our numbers and joined in and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And chatted with the people around us.
And waited.

Behind us were a pair just coming from a party the previous night and a girl... Mary.
Now, Mary from Frankfield is a good singer who was going to do a traditional Irish song. More on this a bit further down.

The queue crawled forward.
Around 12.30 a white blond girl dressed in a very short white dress and cote, revealing a tango tinged tan started doing "Fame" to the camera busy drinking up the acres of legs. More on her later...

At 1pm, word came that the judges were going to have a half an hour break, so off to lunch. Since everyone hand numbers and you were going to be let in in numerical order we all could head off for something to eat.

To the coffee shop.

Our group and Mary with her sister in tow headed off. Mary trained vocally in the US but has let things slide for a few years. Work is the dreaded curse after all. Needless to say she likes singing but isn't really that pushed, she was back in the country for a visit when her family got her to go. From her I learned that there is a gospel choir somewhere in Frankfield (or Grange) that is looking for singers. I'll be checking it out soon.

A lot of smalltalk and songs later, and back to the queue.

Cameras were busy (OK, bored) prowling, so Taz took out his guitar and started playing his song... "MaryAnna Austaliana" (I can't spell the drug, sorry). The Shinawil (production company) loved it, but could he sing a song without any drug references. He offered a few suggestions. Then the asked if he could do a song not about sex too. Needless to say this severely limits what you can do but in theory "You're A Star" is a family show. No one asked what kind of family.

About 2.30 we got in, and Marie and Jackie were stopped by production people for a quick interview. Got in to the herding area. This is the "queue" for the quality control stage. Here they find out if you really can sing, or at least be entertainingly bad at singing. Taz was plucked out of this area to be filmed singing his song in front of the queue. Around this time the orange Fame girl showed up and was lead directly to the area for those who passed quality control.

The interviewing people caught the ones missed beforfe, and I got the shock of the day. They remembered me from last year. Do I come across as memorable?

As we approached the head of the queue, Taz returned only to be plucked out again (the filming means you pass). In we went. All of the Tempest group got through, however Mary was sent home. It appears that they aren't looking for traditional singers this year. The garda also left quietly at this stage too.

Then a bit of frantic form filling began to the discover that Taz didn't make it past the judges. Halfway through filling out the forms I was called up. Then in as a downward thumb pointing Marie passed. (I still have no idea what, if anything, she sung).

Got in, glib comment, "Do I recognise you from somewhere" comment and sang.
Brendan actually liked me!
I also went out of tune somewhere in the song, (annoying and I have nothing to defend myself on this one). However compliments were delivered with a no.
No laughing this time. I felt justified while leaving... so I'll never do this again.

No seriously, I entered this year to get my confidence back. I succeeded in that at least.

Jackie didn't get through, however she thinks her band rendition of "I've got a brand new pair of roller skates, you've got a brand new key" will get her on the telly... Yes, comedy guilt.

So that's it. Didn't get in, A friend of Taz (from another band) did get through, but I'll probably have to wait to see if he gets in. I don't care enough to find out. Sorry Kev, but it's true. So off home and some food.

As horrible as the entire process is, I feel better. I just hope I don't end up on the telly this time. If you are serious at wanting to be in any aspect of show business up to and including amateur stuff, do the queue, but decline to win. If not, don't bother. After all, the real winners of the show are the judges.

take care,



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