Sorry for the caps

FREE TICKETS TODAY ONLY FOR NEXT AMAZING PREMIERE

IN CORCADORCA'S RELOCATION!

FROM FRANCE, COMPAGNIE JO BITHUME PRESENT...

VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN

3 - 5 JUNE on the GRAND PARADE


To apply TEXT NOW the keyword ‘Victor’ followed by the date you would like to go (3 4 5),

e.g. Victor 3 to 57082

Lines close at MIDNIGHT TONIGHT Friday 27th May!


5,000 tickets available. On 1st come 1st served basis. 4 Tickets per winner.

Tickets must be collected from Festival House (Kelly's Post Office)
on The Grand Parade THIS SATURDAY 28th 2pm – 6.30pm..
If you win tickets and live outside Cork County or Ireland and are unable to make it to Cork to collect your tickets on Saturday please ring 021 4278326 BEFORE 1.00PM ON SATURDAY 28TH MAY. This is ONLY for those outside Cork!


A GREAT SHOW FOR ALL THE FAMILY.
WELCOME INSIDE THE MASSIVE SHIP FOR THE WONDERFUL STORY OF FRANKENSTEIN, TOLD LIKE NEVER BEFORE.

IRELAND HAS NEVER SEEN THEATRE LIKE THIS!


Entry texts cost 30 cent (incl. VAT). Network charges apply. Service Provider GlobeTech Ltd.- Tel: (021) 4324558. If you are successful, your ticket allocation text will cost €1.27.

so what are you doing for the week?

This is being e-mailed around the cyclists at work..

Imagine it. You are two-thirds of the way down a snaking line, a wriggling arrow of riders which hugs the sheltered side of the road. Eyes fixed on the spinning wheel in front, a spray of filthy water channelling up onto your face, into your eyes, into your gaping, oxygen-hungry mouth. The water obscures your vision but still you persist, remaining desperately in the sanctuary of the slipstream. Just an inch or two from being exposed to the cruel wind which would rip your screaming legs apart. Just an inch or two from tipping that shimmering rubber strip in front of you and plunging out of control to the ground.

Concentrate. Concentrate on holding your place. Concentrate on avoiding the lethal hazards on the road surface which suddenly appear in front of you. A distant, disembodied voice up ahead roars "hole left" and you swing outwards, narrowly missing the crater which would send you smashing into the ditch. Behind you, you hear a thud, a curse and the hiss of air which jets from a tubular, ripped asunder by the asphalt anomaly. Poor bastard. Forget him. Concentrate. You grip the bars, hunched low over the bike. A sore back, aching shoulders and burning chest eat into your resolve, dwarfed only by the torture taking place in your lower limbs. Ease back, they plead. Sit up. You ignore the protestations. Concentrate. Seeking to distract the mind, you focus on the digital displays before you. One tracks the exertion of your heart, the transmitter strapped to your chest relaying the signal to the monitor and telling you that the straining pump is working overtime at 180 beats per minute. Beside it, a record of that other crucial parameter, which confirms what your legs are going through. Thirty-two miles an hour. Thirty-two point five. Thirty- three. The speed climbs as some insatiable sadist forges off the front. You curse. You spit. You hang on for grim death.

Then the gaps appear. Not directly in front of you, for you are locked tight to that spinning strip of rubber ahead. But two or three riders up the line, daylight is poking its way through the links in the chain as one struggles. You hear his breathing, hear the futile crunch of his gears as he searches desperately for more pace, see the rock of his shoulders and the useless, ominous swing of his head. Not now, you think, 'O God not now'.

He swings to one side, spent, useless. The next in line dips his head, grits his teeth and the ten feet become eight. The eight become six, then four. The gap closes. Legs on fire, lungs tearing themselves apart, you bury yourself as the line becomes one again. Then, in a moment of sudden lucidity through the ravages of lactic acid, that old phRáse comes back to you. "Spent the day chewing the handlebars". It suddenly makes perfect sense. You'd laugh if you didn't have another 80 miles to endure in this purgatory. You'd laugh if you weren't so set on becoming one of the 'Men of the Rás.'

Grind them out

Tuesday May 3 - Saturday May 14
Cork GAA County Board presents Up The Rebels - The Replay in the Everyman Palace Theatre. 8pm This updated version of the smash hit documentary drama, written by Declan Hassett, directed by Michael Twomey and produced by Tony Hegarty, is a reflection of Cork's unique passion for the national games of hurling and football, so much part of what Ireland is, and so appropriate for this European Capital of Culture year.

Friday May 13
Eoin Coughlan plays an Cruiscín Lán

Saturday May 14
Funny Girls: Featuring Ann Gildea, Susan Collins and Pom Boyd play The Half Moon Theatre, 8.30pm Meet Windy Lady, top lunatic athlete, Elaine McInenry, disgruntled Dublin man of letters, John The Poet and more!
Since coming together last year these girls have already enjoyed repeat runs in Dublin’s Helix, Pavilion and Draíocht Theatres. Encouraged by the over-whelming positive response Funny Girls felt obliged to come to Cork with their bag o’ mirth! Now they’re here! Three of Ireland’s most savvy, experienced and original comedy performers in one show

Wednesday May 18
Rulers Of The Planet play The Brog
Annette Buckley promotes her debut album, "The Ever Changing Colours of the Sea" in City Limits

Thursday May 19
Annette Buckley promotes her debut album, "The Ever Changing Colours of the Sea" in The Lodge, Mallow

Friday May 20
The Futureheads host the next Heineken Green Room Session when they play in the Savoy

Sunday May 22
Annette Buckley promotes her debut album, "The Ever Changing Colours of the Sea" in De Barra's in Clonakilty

Sunday May 29
Anto Yau plays De Barra's in Clonakilty

Tuesday May 31 - Saturday June 18
Bouncers by John Godber in the Everyman Palace Theatre. 8pm It had to come back. Centering around a Friday night out in Cork City, this play is an hilarious parody of the nightclub scene in Cork....giggly girls, lads on the make, lager louts and smooth talking DJ's all set against the glitzy glamour, flashing lights and pulsating beat of the dance floor. Directed by Neil Pearson, with music mix by Stevie G.

Monday June 6
Sons & Daughters (with British Sea Power) play Cyprus Avenue
The La's, which today comprises Lee Mavers, John Power, Jay Lewis and Nick Miniski, play in the Savoy Tickets priced from €22.50 (Cork)

Grind that press release monkyboy

Cork 2005 brings the world-renowned Kronos Quartet to Cork for the first time as part of the Capital of Culture Celebrations in the unique setting of St. Luke’s Hall on the city’s northside. In a programme of music selected specifically for Cork 2005, Kronos Quartet will perform work by living composers from all over the world, and signature Kronos arrangements of early works.

Bad signs

Walking in to work and the radio is playing at the security desk.

It's playing the classic, Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.

The classic horror movie song.

Somehow I don't think it's going to be a good day.

Will